I grew up in what I like to call an "in between environment" and I am so thankful for it. I didn't live among a huge populace, but I wasn't in the middle of a small, obscure community, either. As a child, I often played outdoors, either alone or with my neighborhood friends. I did a lot of reading, paying attention, and I learned a lot about common sense and good manners along the way. Because my town and the nearby "sister" town were a mix of farms, mills, merchants, and commuting city workers, and we were so close to other towns and some cities, shipping lanes, railroad lines, colleges and universities, and communication centers, I was smack in the midst of a highly mixed ethnic and social class environment, so a lot of different languages, accents, cultural traditions, religions, etc. were always a part of my town, neighborhood, school, church, social activities, and more.
Although certain races, religions, ethnicities, and classifications of people were in a true minority, I believe practically all of them had some presence, so I was well aware of the many different colors, beliefs, traditions, etc. that existed, not just here, but in many places in the country and around the world. The lessons from these people taught us all of the many derogatory expressions and activities that also existed here and elsewhere. The exposure made everyone, regardless of who or what, as commonplace and accepted by me, most of my peers, and the majority of all those living anywhere in, near, or around my area. With the help of my mother, and most other's mothers, my dad and most other's fathers, too, as well as teachers, clergy, and local people of office, we came to understand the good and right of equality and acceptability vs. the bad and wrong of discrimination and prejudice.
Older generations tended to use "slang" words to describe certain people (and that was somewhat tolerated because it was more out of habit and there was little or no hatred or insult implied or intended), but many would cringe, frown, or even object whenever such words were spoken. Everyone else, though, was pretty much "politically correct" before that became an actual thing, except for those who were regarded as "good-for-nothing-troublemaker-hoodlums who were always in trouble". We not only used acceptible and proper names for people, but we seldom felt anything less about someone because of a person's heritage, faith, level of education, job description, or political affiliation. In other words, we either liked or disliked a person based on a person's behavior, a person's willingness or unwillingness to get along with others, or a person's respect or lack of respect for others and for others' property.
I and my generation grew up as normally as any other kids, doing all the same things and playing the same games as any other kids, but we all did so as equals who happened to have some differences. This was almost as true for my mother's generation, and it was still true in my brother's generation, which is 10 years my junior. It is still the norm today. It is because this area has always been a place where people go to school, work, play, and socialize with others who may be of different colors, go to different churches, speak different languages, and have different interests. We learned from each other and became friends, classmates, and co-workers just as easily and willingly as with those of our own color, faith, and ancestry. Where there were cases of discrimination in existence, it was usually within a limited number of individuals or politically-related.
It wasn't until the mid-to-late 60's (my teen years) when other influences started to change the characters and behaviors of the people around me, as I'm sure it did in many areas, but the changes here didn't much include things along the lines of racial, religious, or sexual orientation things, but along the lines of drug and alcohol useage, respect (or lack of) for different age groups, all areas relating to the Vietnam War, and the changing attitudes between civilians and anyone in government or in a uniform. Suddenly there were prejudices for whole groups of people, not necessarily against any basic person, but against the uniform that was worn, the job that was held, or those who threatened our livelihoods, rights, or opportunities.
A lot of this was brought about by media coverage of similar struggles in other places and, depending on a person's reaction to the context of the coverage, the opinions influenced the trains-of-thought and patterns-of-behavior among the residents and transients in the area. As the youth became more rebellious in places around the country, they became rebellious here, too. The so-called "establishment" of all those aged over 30 became the enemy of all those who were younger, strictly because of the opinion that all people over a certain age thought, believed, and acted the same way, while all those under a certain age subscribed to everything opposite. Although there were here-and-there prejudices between certain groups of people, this type of stereo-typical discrimination hadn't existed since World War II, yet the whole "scene" was more of copying what was going on elsewhere with little or no change in most people's every day lives.
The differing opinions mainly resulted in open debates and arguments on issues, but seldom in any other eruptions, and there was very little change in the general population's daily routines, interests, or responsibilities. Crime did increase enough to be considered a major problem, but only because of the generally low incidences of crime in previous times and because the crimes were taking place outside of the known parameters that had already been in existence. But, except for a relatively low number of those "good-for-nothing-troublemaker-hoodlums who were always in trouble", most of us (including me) emerged from that troubling time as pretty good human beings.
Sure, a lot of us held certain opinions and attitudes within us that never changed or changed much, but a lot of respect, responsibility, and values were re-discovered, and prejudices seemed to dissipate. Matter of fact, although we might be highly opinionated, we tend to be even more open-minded toward people, putting any real hostility in the direction of individuals who willingly disrespect, attack, or violate others or the property of others.
Of all who I lived and grew up with, most (regardless of age) still possess the same foundations in attitudes toward people as we did way back then. And, because we are now scattered, these attitudes are thriving (and hopefully spreading) in other areas.
Note: It is believed and highly regarded by many (including those in law enforcement, behavioral treatment, educators, and public services) that most hate crimes and gang violence in this general area were "brought in" by outsiders or outside influences. From where there is little or no understanding or knowledge of an "equal regard for all" attitude, comes the behaviors and influences of hatred and violence (into our communities). Although this influx may often be confined to the outsiders' own "world", much continues to bleed into our communities where our very real safety and philosophy on life are threatened. The victims can not fully comprehend the existence of such violent behavior because they themselves bear no hatred.
18 comments on An Attitude: From Then Through Now
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I understand what you are saying, and you said it well. I grew up in the '50s and '60s, too, and was taught to respect all people and to cultivate an openness to people and to be accepting of differences, with the over-arching lesson being, "Do good things and make a positive difference in the world. Try to make things better than the way you found it." Seems simplistic, even naive, but I think those views helped me mold a positive life.
It is simplistic...not naive...and it's simple enough to be able to understand, work with, maintain, and teach. That's how a positive life is molded and stays molded. We grew up through tough times and temptations...and if we made it through ok, then it proves that it works.
Good post, offering some good discussions and sharing, thanks Donna.
Well as you know I was raised in Chicago during the times mentioned. And live/loved many neighbors who at that time I didn't realize were different, just neighbors.
The 60's had it's concerns and ideals. And yes who we are today is how we lived and how the adults in our home and neighborhood modeled behavior.
They showed it more then talked about any of it, thus I didn't have names for things or peoples.
Live and let live, mom's principle....
Live Love Laugh and BE Happy, dad's idea of life.
Blessings to all the 'models' for a LIFE to live in respect.
Yeah, I think the point is well taken by you and by other commenters that life wasn't necessarily any easier than it is today...we had an unpopular war, temptations of drugs and alcohol and "free love", changes going on in society, and a country full of various types of prejudices. Yet, due to the way many of us were allowed to discover other people and ways on our own with proper and positive guidance, all of it made some of us a little wilder and/or free-spirited, but the basic values and tolerances remained alive and well.
Your description could easily fit the part of the state where I grew up!
AJ
Sure it could, because most of this area would be pretty much the same. There might be areas in RI, though, that wouldn't be because of their remoteness to other towns, "types" of people or occupations, or some other things, but I think most communities shared common experiences.
Well, as you know, my upbringing could not have been more different; yet I imagine we still have a lot of the same beliefs today.
Yes, and it was you and your post that sparked the interest in me to write this. I saw where there was some very strong and valuable lessons that your area offered...a sense of unthreatening fun and freedom without having to deal with issues that sometimes force kids to grow up way too fast today. However, I could see where some of the "exposures" I had in this area helped to prevent feelings of "others being different than me"...just that all the different types of people are part of the whole "equal" picture. I like how the two..."yours" and "mine" could somehow be combined for a nice complete way for children to grow up.
Donna you should write a book!!! You really are good with words. People are people and what we grow up around makes some stronger.
A book? I don't think I could stick with something for that long, but thanks for the compliment.
I love your words..."people are people"....simple and true. I'd be lying if I said there was no prejudice that existed in my early, middle, or later years...or that I didn't encounter prejudice in my life...I just saw it as more isolated, more individualistic than what I heard and learned about it other areas and other people's lives. We may be more tolerant here in a lot of ways than in some other places, but we can also hold some pretty strong prejudices, as well. I think, though, fairness has a better chance of breaking through it all here because of our diversity.
I'm in line,will you sign mine Please....
Peace my friend.... :-)
Aw, c'mon...you're making me blush.
I agree with all the above Doona. But my 60's was fighting a war and coming home to a nation that hated us. So I did become bitter at alot of things. I actually hated certain people, the Hippies mostly, they got a free ride and they had the nerve to call us Baby Killers. Time has healed a lot of wounds and now I'm one of those worried about our troops. Very good post my friend.
Richard, I appreciate your comment because you were "on the other side of the picture", if you know what I mean. As many in Vietnam didn't know how the attitude toward the war had turned so much against it that it went beyond the protest of the war itself, many here did not entirely know what was going on over there and couldn't grasp the fact that our own people there weren't somehow to blame for the war, too. It's a controversy that may never be totally understood, explained, or resolved, just as a lot of the controversy over Iraq is becoming. The treatment you got when you returned home was hideous and unforgivable....however, there were some who engaged in that behavior who didn't even know what they were doing except for "following the crowd". Those with any intelligence eventually realized the error of their ways and, in some way, they have given their apologies or displayed their change of attitude. Bitterness or no, it's the realization of the truth that often will make the necessary changes in actions and thinking...and I believe, even with some differences, we hold an awful lot of common values.
Ever stop to think how important the use of "Common" is? I hope we all have "Common" sense, "Common" reason, "Common" values and "Common" belief. Makes the rich people kind of envious of us "Common" folk. Love you all my "Common" bloggers.
I for one am not the smartest cookie in the batch,but boy do I have a whole lot of common sense...Put me in good stead so far....Yupper me too,I love all my "common" bloggers...Give me some one with common sense any day!!!!
Yeah, I like being among common folks, even though you and everyone else I know is unique in some way. That's why being common, which is already good, is so gosh-darn special!
Great post my dear! I love hearing about people's perspectives across generations. What we read in history books is not "real" -- those who experienced it tell a very different tale. And those tales are real, they are the lives of those who create the history. Keep on, keep on.